He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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