Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Randomize
