Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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