So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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