It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
