i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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