By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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