I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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