I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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