yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
