I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
pray to the hookup gods
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
