My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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