Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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