you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
