In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
