come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
