Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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