Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He? As in you personified your dick?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize