He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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