Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
