I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize