I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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