It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
