this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
