we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
