I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
