If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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