I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
