i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
