he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
