This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
