I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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