Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
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