So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
