You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
