all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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