Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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