I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
