is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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