Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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