im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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