Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
