fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
