hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
