Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
that's an acceptable place to lick
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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