I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize