And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
