Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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