Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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