using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I am midnight drunk by noon
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
