Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
