i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize