Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
