I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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