My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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