dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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