so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
