I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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