he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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