She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
