Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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