oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
