There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
